Yeah.   I still need help.   

About six months ago I launched a GoFundMe.  It’s been overwhelming and heart-touching to see the response.   I can’t think you all enough. 

My gofundme is still out there and active.  I really hate asking for help, especially twice, but my on-going business has basically collapsed.  I have a few clients that I am able to focus on, but my income from on-going clients has dropped about 80%.  

Still Working… It’s Just Not Going Great

Now, at the same time, I’m working really hard on getting proposals to build new sites out there… so I could have a few things go right and then feel really comfortable financially again.   Unfortunately, right now that’s not happening, and I just feel like I’m on a tightrope without a net. 

The reconstruction surgery is now scheduled, which is awesome, but that feels like it ramps up my anxiety as well.   I’m working hard to find people to build sites for, and then have them on installments so I have some money rolling in during my recovery and no work expected for it. 

Are You Working Now?   

Yes.   I am working every day.   It’s been tough… a lot of my clients have left.  Not just because I have cancer, but because Google has just not provided a great return for a lot of them.   It’s OK.   No bad break-ups, all people who I can do business with again in the future.  Just, hard to lose that automatic monthly revenue.  

Why Do You Need Help?  

It’s hard to work.  My brain… I don’t know how much detail to get into here.   Stage IV cancer is so difficult to wrap your head around.  I am dealing with a lot of depression related distractions, and I’m of course, schedule-wise, overwhelmed with medical appointments as well.   

I also am in a lot of physical pain, which can make it really difficult to focus.  So I have fewer hours a week to work, and the hours I do have are less effective than I wish they were.   All of that said, I’m committed to working hard at having as much as an income as possible.  That’s another one of those stage 4 issues… it just sucks.

Why Do You NOT Want to Ask For Help? 

Asking for help is hard.  Especially when it’s the added awkwardness of money.   I believe money is scarce for most people.  Even if it’s not, we’re all working hard and want to buy the stuff we want with our money.  I also am working, as I stated above.  I am holding onto hope that my business will make a turnaround.  I still believe in my ability to sell websites.  It feels weird to ask for help when you’re hoping you can do it yourself.

Anyways.   The GoFundMe is Out there.  I hope that everyone knows that I am so very thankful for every dollar that has been donated.  I feel weird asking for help twice.  I wish I was in a whole different situation.